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01/06/2006: "C'mon, let's start some shit."

Hello, I'm a teenager. Now, not only that, but I am also Nick Mother Fucking Korn. Let us not forget that very importaint part. What this means, is that my life revolves around 2 key points.

1) Being Nick (the part which involves art, video games, thinking, and being a smart ass).
2) Fucking up relationships with every person I encounter on earth.

Now, the first part is fairly simple. Hell, a computer/pencil/bottle of soda/couple of people/any or all of the above and off I go. Now, it's that second part that's a pain in the ass. That didn't kick in until teenager=TRUE. If you're a teenager, then you know what I mean, and if I say something that you don't know what I mean, then I'd like you to tell me what you got. Sharing views is importaint, it just might let us get some of this right.

Now, the part that makes messing up relationships (and I'm talking about relations to all the people you know, not just that one person you are damn lucky if you can find) that is really a bitch, is that most of it happens when you're not with people. When you're with people, there's too much going on. It seems like luck, because there is no time for a fuck up to be bad because if you do something wrong it's not noticed because, well, odds are everyone else is so worried about fucking up to that no one minds that you fuck up. Or there's something going on or someone who is totally out of it, and so everyone's being kept on their toes. Point is, the part where it's really a bitch is when you're not there. It's when things stop and you have time to consider. It's when you go through the most what-ifs. When you go over every intimate detail of what happened and how it could have/should have gone, or even what to do next time if next time should even occur. It is when anexity takes over, and anexity sucks balls. (Note: Although for many men this may seem like a good experience, that is not how anexity sucks. Anexity sucks HARD. Like, industrial strenght shop vac hard. And if you have ever had that happen to you, you know that you wind up looking for your balls inside of a lint trap, and they're coverd with dust and dirt and a couple of screws...and you're also lying on the floor weeping and emasculated.) I imagine this is the same thing which can drive some people to drinking. I think the entire thought proccess goes like this:

Brain: Guess what. You suck and the things you do are wrong and all the good things you have are going to leave soon.
Person: I don't belive that. You're lying.
Brain: You don't know that. I'm telling you that, and I'm your only source.
Person: ...hmmm...Hey stomache?
Stomache: yeah?
Person: Some alchol is gonna come from my mouth. Cause you send it up to the brain so that he finally shuts the hell up?
Stomache: Sure, buddy.
::drinks::
Person: What do you have to say now brain?
Brain: ...meh. Whatever man. Zzzz...
Person: Better.

And it is at this point the person either gets sleepy, loud, or just starts giggling uncontrobally like an idiot. And I gotta tell ya, that's doesn't really sound like the worse thing. The only problem is that the odds of you ruining your body or just doing something you're gonna regret is pretty high. I think. The possibility that its not worries me, cause then I'll be pissed that there's a simple solution to thing.

I've run out of awake.

Tomarrow: I've seen to many movies.

F*R*A*G: You just got Man-Handled by Congress.