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12/26/2005: "I should be on a bumper sticker."

For some reason, when you put me in a (Chinese food) reastraunt late in the evening I get very philosophical. Like earlier, I just slowed my eating and started spining my just emptied tea cup around. The thinking part started with a little bit of physics, but it melded into philosophy with thusly...

The idea is that there could be some sort of force in the universe from which all other forces come. It is thought that if this force is found then we would esentially have found God. Well, what about some other universal scientific property...like, the angle at which all objects can be ballanced at. Would this also be God, as it is the ballance point from which all other ballance points come? Or would it be Satan, someone who's view is askew?

Mind you, by this point in the argument I had stopped spining my cup and actually managed to get it to ballance on its own at a vaugely 40 degree angle. I also picked up my bowl of rice again, and although I held it in a maner which suggested I meant to continue eating it, I meerly held it and did not consume.

Then, before I could move on to derive more thoughts and destroy others, metacognition kicked in and reitterated that most (if not all) philosiphisers are basically smartass bullshit artists with eccentric yet mellow habits. And have I mentioned that metacognition is a bitch? Now, for those of you who might only be aware that metacognition is a cool word, metacognition is also esentially thinking about what you're thinking about. Kinda like if you ever say "I can't belive I just said that," then you've had an experience with metacognition. My problem with it is that I spend way to much time involuntarily indulging in it. And of course, all that indulging has only taught me that I spend way too much time involuntairily indulgining it metacognition. Like I said, it's a bitch. But, it's what I do naturally it seems, so...if I'm going to stop then I'll stop. Auto lazie-faire of sorts.

Now, as for more general current events, I'm in the city again. I'm here to work though. I'm working with my dad at the college. After one day of work so far, I can say that work sucks. I knew that, but every time I go back to it I'm reminded. And I know being told won't stop you people from going back, but it must be said anyway I think. But the thing that takes work from just sucking to being straight out depressing is the thought that you're going to have to go back every day. Chained to a life of servitude for rewards that you will never live to see. Shit yeah that sucks. That's why I think being fired is a good thing. Shakes shit up. It would be nice to know that you won't be going back to that job. Unless it's one of those jobs that people actually manage to like. But I'm speaking in general here. I just don't belive that people were meant to be so repetive with their life. Now, this may seem hipocritical from a guy who is so opposed to change that a simple thing can ruin his life for a while, but if the only constant in nature is chaos, then I can safely respond with fuck you.

But back to the point: I'm making plans for friday and saturday and most likely sunday and monday. I may need friday and/or sunday/monday for homework, but I'm either going to a party for new years, or if nobody is having one I'm holding it. Weather permiting, I'd like to be with people in the middle of a feild (with lawn chairs and drinks possibly) at midnight. Just because. It's that drama thing again.

I've allready made it known how much I hate this alienation I've been feeling, and I'll be damned if I let it go on. After the next three days of work suck, I'm going to get paid, and then friday is going to be wonderful, saturday is going to be bitchin', sunday is going to be awesome or relaxing (haven't decided yet), and monday will be just enough to make me happy before going back to school.

Note: I have no garunteed way of making that plan come to fruition, but it is giving me something to look foreward to which will help me through the week and I'm just pissed enough at the whole "I feel like things suck even though things really don't suck" deal that I will make it happen through a mixture of spite, magic, ice cream, and duct tape.

F*R*A*G: So that's what a Toblarone is...