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07/02/2005: "Sojouner Bullshit."

::walks in, very anxoius and paranoid looking::

::deer in headlight stare at reader(s)::

::screams, pauses, then screams again::

Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok... ::paces back and forth and goes on talking:: I'm not ready for this I don't wanna go I know I'm not ready I don't even know how to do laundry still bleach only on the whites BUT WHEN?!?

::stops pacing but starts gesticulating more violently:: No no no no no...I wanna go. I think I do. Sad tp admit, but this is the longest that I'll have been away from home and my parents and esentially alone. I know that I can handle things on my own, and really I'd perfer to be by myself. It's easier when there aren't other people messing up your plans. So that's why I'm really confused as to why I'm freaking out like this (mind you, those coloned actions are internal. in the world we all share I'm just as apathetic as ever.) I think what it has to do with is that I always imagine being on my own as a bridge burning kinda thing. When I start going and that's it...just keep going. This is close, but it's going for a while, and then comming back. So it's more just a long thing to do then anything else. And it's pissing me off cuase I'm just now getting the good ideas of what to do with time off, BUT NOW I'M LEAVING FOR THE MONTH and my memory is way to crapy to be able to pick up anything when I come back. I'll need another week to sleep once I'm done up there. So...that's like 3 weeks of summer vacation left. I'm going...yeah...

::goes into the front yard and lies face down in the grass...and keeps on ranting:: (rest of this post has been translated from dirthmouth back into English)

Yeah...So there's gonna be no gamer meeting or comic while I'm away...And I have a few ideas... I found an extention cord and a backpack...and I was thinking about it and my dad gave me an LCD display with a video in cause he knows what I'm thinking... So yeah, PLAYSTATION IN A BACKPACK! Comming soon to a Warwick near you. But like I said...not till I get back.

::rolls over and goes blind from clear blue sky:: *sigh...* But I guess... Everyone keeps telling me I'm going to have a good time... and it's not that I don't belive them...it's just that I have other things on my mind, and everyone having to reasure me is making me a bit paranoid of the truth in it...

Well, it's like that old woman said I suppose...

::grabs pendant:: Yeah...yeah...At least there's one thing I know I won't forget about when I get back...

So I need to pack and take a shower and then I'm off. I'll be bringing my notebook and legal pad and sketch pad... why three? cause they each seem to draw different types of pictures out of me. Don't know why. But maybe I'll have some comics drawn out by the time I get back. And if I'm lucky, they'll let me work on comics/pics there and I might even be able to use Deviant Art so you can see how I'm coming along. But they'll be public computers, so I'll probally get pissed at them too...

::decides to get up, but doesn't go anywhere really:: Well...day is starting to get on, and I still have a lot to do before tomarrow. I'm gonna miss you all, and when I get back we're doing stuff. You got that? I may suck as a leader, but at least I can get stuff done sometimes...

Bai.

F*R*A*G: This game is all about how to solve problems with a gun.